My health with Tex Avery at the gym.


In my book I mentioned that I try to get to the gym every other day. I do 30 minutes on the elliptical machine and then work out for 20 or 30 minutes on the free weights.

This morning I had just started my 30 minutes on the machine when a charming young lady jumped on the treadmill directly in front of me. She was very attractive and many years younger than I. She wore black skin tight pants and a black top to match. Being behind her provided me with an inspirational view for my exercise routine.

I had punched the machine’s buttons for my age, weight, time and speed, and it calculated my heart rate that I’m was to achieve, 94 beats per minute.

As my heart rate climbed to the calculated rate I soon reached my limit, but the young lady, no longer jogging on the treadmill, was now running at a good speed. I was keeping my senior citizen pace for a heart rate of 94 beats per minute but I couldn’t help but watch her. As George Harrison said, “Something in the way she moved”. I started seeing myself as if I was chasing her. She was in front of me running and I was behind her, well, not running, but I was keeping up. It was a Tex Avery cartoon! I was still “walking” my speedy senior citizen’s pace but she wasn’t getting away from me! What luck! I looked down at my machine and it showed my heart rate at 103 and climbing. My heart was speeding up to catch her. The more I watched her run the faster my heart was beating. It reached 107 beats per minute. How fast can a guy’s heart beat? Fortunately for me she slowed her pace to a jog. The bottom of her top was slipping up and the top of her bottoms was slipping down, so she had to slow her run to make adjustments.

Her wardrobe antics kept me from looking down at my heart rate indicator, not sure how high it got, and she finished her jog just in time for my heart to slow to a survivable speed. I thought maybe, being an old guy, that I had had enough exercise for the day. How much can a guy’s heart take?

As Rod Stewart sang in song, “This old heart of mine’s been broke a thousand times, yes it has.” But I didn’t break it today and I had a great workout.

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